Tongues numbed by the sweet lick of wine
My memories begin to materialize
Confused by what is real and what is not
I do not mind your touch, your embrace from behind
Your face remains hidden but I know that it’s you
Your hollow arms didn’t keep the surprise true
Soft curly hair tickling the left side of my face
A tear escapes, if only I had memorized your scent.
The gentleman beside me does not see it that you’re there
He asks me to dance, thinks I’m crying over neglect
I’d hate you to leave me so I just sit very still
In my dear memories of you I wish to live
I take another sip and close my moistened eyes
Stabilizing the dream of your visit, forgetting the point of your demise
Making more powerful your hold on me
Your love stronger, your kiss becoming the motionless wind
(Or is it I who loves you more now,
Is it my hold that’s more powerful on you..)
Though I know it’s a dream, a sad dream, I know
I bask in your presence and thank wine for bringing back you
-wk 6
I like that you wrote this poem in the present tense, I feel like if you had written it in a different tense it would not be as powerfull. This poem is very " in the moment." The last two sentences really ties the poem together, and changes it's meaning entirely.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is so strong, I agree with janetd! This is one of the best poems i read so far on this blog
ReplyDeleteThis poem has a lot of visual aspects of it that make it powerful. The descriptive parts ("soft curly hair tickling my left side" and "tongues numbed by the sweet lick of wine") create an explicit scene that the reader can almost feel and touch themselves. To me, I feel as though the speaker is remembering either a person from the past or a person no longer living. A simple thing, a memory, in this case the taste of wine, transports the speaker to the memory of that long lost person. It's very touching
ReplyDeleteLove this poem it really captures the reader on an emotional level.
ReplyDelete